Rest, then reply
- Rachel Joyce Burce
- Feb 22, 2021
- 3 min read
Whenever I feel that I no longer have the energy to converse with people, I just pause and go with it. Even in maintaining communication with family and friends, or even mere acquaintances, rest is also important as much as when we are engaging in a romantic relationship. If you think that constant talking or exchanging of messages or calls is the key to a stronger bond, it isn't. Beyond our desires of uninterrupted attention from people lies our need to take a break and focus on ourselves.
'Consistency is the key,' yes. However, being consistent isn't limited to an everyday visibility in someone's life. It is rather being present (in every sense of the word) in times of need or triumph, and even during small or big changes.
This might not always be the case since relationships are anchored on communication, but at least for the people you're affiliated with for ages already, I bet you know by now your system of keeping in touch. During the early stages of our lives, we were so invested with the idea of daily chats or calls as a form of sustaining our relationships with people. I'm sure you had your experience of being 'seen-zoned' or worse, 'inbox-zoned' by either your partner, relative, or friend, and you've sulked over it a lot. It's normal. At some point in our lives, we'd feel unwanted whenever we don't get the same amount of attention that we give to others.
It's so easy to misunderstand nowadays, that a simple like or heart reaction to a social media post, and even the absence of it, can be interpreted differently. So, what more when we send a direct message, but the only thing we get in return is the fact that they have already 'seen' the chat, or worse kept your message 'unread' for days or more. I fell into this trap before too, as I used to feel bad being ignored like that. Until the pandemic happened, with all the uncertainties and personal struggles that we have, plus the maturity that comes with different experiences too, then I learned to momentarily stop. It's like being mindful of the present through sensing the breaths you take and just feeling the rhythm of your heartbeat along with the upward and downward motion of your chest.
What I'm trying to say is that as much as you care for the other person, you should do the same to yourself too. If you feel the need to just be alone and contemplate things on your own, by all means do it. If the person you reached out too doesn't give you an immediate response, try to understand that he or she may be in the same boat as you. When things get overwhelming, it isn't always required to face them head-on. We can take detours and journey elsewhere to refresh and revitalize our physical and mental energy. While you're at it, better to log off from your social media accounts too so you can wholly live in the present.
At the end of the day or as soon as you've regained your strength, just don't forget to check back on the people who matter to you, and those who sincerely show their care. A simple message of asking how they've been or finally responding to them could already mean so much, so why not hit that send button already?
(Location at Bag of Beans Tagaytay. Photo captured by my brother, Renz Justine Burce)
Comments